All I want for Christmas is...

So we were in Stateboro for Thanksgiving...we were at the mall...we saw Santa and thought...hmmm...let's just take Gage over there and see what he thinks about him...if he likes him, we could always bring him back in one of his cute Christmas outfits...short story shorter...he loved Santa...we loved the picture...no Christmas outfit...but... look at those precious smiles!!!

4 girls, 4 lives, 4 stories...

These are my three best friends from high school...10 years and 5 kids later we all got together

Don't we have some sweet babies...

Gage, Makayla, Madison, Kalaya, and Rowan

what were you doing one YEAR ago...

We were soaking up our last days of the NICU...

and getting ready to be discharged!!!

We were spending several days as a family at the Ronald McDonald House...

We were anticipating our flight home...and then excited about our arrival!

What a difference a YEAR makes...

Will I ever get tired of talking about what happened in our family during that YEAR? I hope not. I hope I never get tired of reminiscing and remembering the step by step details of our doctor's visits, plane rides, hotel stays, tests and sonograms, explanations, prayers, dollars donated, love poured out and life given. I hope I never get too busy to remember that God worked a miracle that YEAR, and his name is Robert "Gage" Brown. I hope that when every October comes around I post about how big Gage is getting and how it all began when he was knit together in my womb by our precious Lord. I hope I never forget...

how God is so full of love, grace, and mercy!

Happy Birthday Gage...love your friend, ELMO

This time last year...

Being that Gage will turn 1 in less than a week...I have been in major "reflection mode" lately! For example...this very day in 2008 mom and I were sitting in a hotel room in Philadelphia for a VERY LONG four days waiting for Tuesday (Monday was Labor Day) when we could call the hospital to tell them we went against their medical advice and came on anyway...we were in hiding! The reason they gave us medical advice NOT to come to Philly was due to the fact that I had been bleeding for 4 days and my doctor in Macon could not explain it or figure it out...it could have been a lot of different things-however-we knew we could not stay for Gage's sake, we had to get on that plane!

For the next four days...

We ate a lot of Denny's and a lot at the "Diner" that was right next door. 

We read a lot, cried a lot, prayed a lot, and we...WAITED! 

I blinked...and my baby grew up

As a new mom you often hear the phrases  "time flies" or "soak up every second" or "they are only babies once"... you smile, and you take it in one ear and out the other...until...it becomes real to you!

Reality is starting to set in!

Gage is getting bigger...minute by minute...hour by hour...day by day...

He was born in Philadelphia 5 weeks early

emergency csection- we could have both died

he had surgery 5 days later

he was in the NICU for close to 6 weeks

we were in Philly at the hotel and/or Ronald McDonald House close to 7

he recovered well...no major set backs

he came home on a feeding tube and 3 different medications

he removed his feeding tube within days of arriving in Milledgeville

he ate, he grew, he thrived

he no longer needed ANY medication

I was able to be home with him for close to 3 months 

  some days were better than others

I went back to work in Jan- 

  thanks to my mom, Chris' dad, and Megan it was an easy transition

Gage began to smile a lot

he reached and played

he cooed

he fell in love with Elmo

he went to the lung doctor who said everything looked great

he got to go to church

he sat up

school was out and I got to be home with him again

we visited family&friends

he went back to the lung doctor who couldn't get over how big he was

we went to the beach

he starting crawling

we laughed

we swam

we played

he pulls up on everything

he LOVES his walker and sprints around the house in it

he wants to walk so badly

he loves his puppy

he drinks from a sippy cup

he eats table food

he has hit every mile stone right on "target" in his way and in his time

he starts day care in 2 weeks and I am more worried about ME than I am HIM...we went by the other day to talk with the teacher...and in seconds he was playing with the other kids on the floor...all over the place

this is how it is supposed to be- and I am oh so grateful for EVERY SINGLE MINUTE- but nobody can prepare you for what it feels like to watch them grow up, gain independence, and not need you for everything

I am so proud of Gage. I love him more than words can express. Chris and I would do anything in the world for that little boy. I never imagined that having a baby could bring a husband and wife closer too- but it does- in too many ways to count.

Lord I pray that Gage will be that little boy who befriends the one nobody wants to play with. I pray that he will come to you at a young age and live his life- the life you miraculously allowed him to have- for you and you alone! I pray that he is like his Heavenly daddy, but I also earnestly pray that he is like his earthly daddy- merciful, unselfish, careful, a lover of learning, a lover of your word, and a lover of music, a respecter of those around him, a caretaker of his family, a servant, and so much more. Lord help Chris and I to live for you in our home...help Gage not to only see you limited to a church building, but help us show You to him everywhere we go in everything we do like our parents did for us! Lord tonight I find myself unable to think about much else that our little one sleeping so peacefully in his crib...we are so very blessed beyond belief! 

Gage's first trip to the beach...and the second is soon to come!!!

We had a blast! Gage loved to eat the sand and swim in the ocean. He wasn't crazy about the pool, but that was ok too! What a week it was...he is now crawling everywhere and wanting to eat everything on our plates. He also cut his two front teeth. 

It is amazing how fast he is growing and how big he is getting! Every day with him is truly a blessing and I am so thankful for our family!

Ahhhh....to journal again...what a beautiful thing!

School's out for the summer!

Time to clean, make lists, organize, trim those stinkin bushes, swim, visit family and the beach, and soooo much more...but for now...it's time to reflect.

My 5th school year began as a kindergarten teacher in August...I can't believe it...5 years I have been teaching...and each year gets better and better...I could imagine doing nothing else that would bring me a greater joy that loving on 5 and 6 year olds every day...trying and tiring yes, but SO worth it!

August brought with it not only the beginning of my 5th year at PCES, but also my 3rd and 4th trips to Philadelphia. As you may or may not know last June (a YEAR ago) when I was about 20 weeks pregnant my son was diagnosed with CDH- congenital diaphragmatic hernia. There was a hole in his diaphragm which allowed his bowels to move into his chest cavity and put pressure on his left lung which in turn put pressure on his heart. This was a very serious condition in which only 50% of babies make it full term, and 70% survive after that...wow...if that was a lot for you to take in as a reader...just imagine how it was for Chris and I as first time parents. We were referred to the Children's Hospital of Philadelphia and went for 3 visits. Everything was looking good- well as good as it could given the diagnosis. The original plan was that I would teach for 4 weeks and then head to Philadelphia when I was about 36 weeks just so they could keep a closer eye on me...well...I taught 10 days and long story short Gage came at 35 weeks and 2 days...and praise the Lord I was in Philadelphia just in time!!

Time...it is a precious thing. As I said Gage is 9 months old and I am so thankful for the time he has been with us already, and am even more thankful for the time I will be able to spend with him this summer. 3 whole months of time together! He has beaten all the odds that were stacked against him and is performing as any other "normal" baby would be. He is eating, laughing, and growing with the best of them. He is basically the most beautiful boy you have ever seen. As I have been reflecting on every single thing that has happened since this time last year it all comes down to one thing...Jesus Christ.

I was reading today in the book of Luke chapter 2 verses 41-50 about how Mary and Joseph were leaving Jerusalem and just assumed that Jesus was somewhere in the caravan...however he stayed behind to listen to the teachings and ask questions....when his parents finally found him they asked "How could you treat us this way" and Jesus basically replied...where else did you think I would be than in my Father's house...which also translates...I was all about my Father...wouldn't it be so awesome if when people looked at you and me they could say- wow she is all about her Father's business- not that she is a nice person, not that she was a strong mother in Philadelphia, not that she is a faithful member of __________ church, but that she is all about her FATHER! That is my prayer and main goal of this summer- to be more about my Father and less about...well anything else. Everything is all about Him anyway- and if its not- it doesn't matter- its not worth the time. If you are grocery shopping- make it all about Him- smile and greet the people at the store with kindness...you get the idea. Just as in Colossians where it says to do everything as unto the Lord...take the Summer challenge...and ultimately life challenge...lets be more about our Father and less about ourselves!

Here is a slideshow my dad put together from Mother's Day

http://s4.photobucket.com/albums/y111/olcaptain/Gage/?action=view&current=c351df01.pbw

Could I be any more blessed?

Mother's Day...Baby Dedication...the blessings just continue to flow!

Gage is a little more than 8 months old...yes EIGHT months already...I can't believe it! He is doing great- sitting up- spinning around on his belly- wanting to crawl- eating and eating and eating- sleeping through the night (for the most part) and he has cut 2 teeth. 

He is so sweet, friendly and precious. 

I LOVE being a mom...that is in part because Gage is so special...but it is also in part because I have such a great husband. He loves me, takes care of me, provides for me, and is my very best friend...how could I ask for more?

Gage's first Easter

HAPPY EASTER

FROM OUR FAMILY TO YOURS!!

It all began at the Easter Egg Hunt...

My brother, sister-in-law, niece and nephew came for the weekend...and to celebrate Easter.

What an awesome time we had! It all began on Friday night- they came to the house for dinner and we caught up on old times, laughed, and loved. Saturday we went to Todd's for an Easter Egg Hunt...Gage had a blast with his cousins, uncle and aunt (she was taking the picts)

Macie and Gage

Jacob and Gage

Chad and Gage

Saturday night we had "breakfast for dinner" and once again enjoyed each other's company.

and tomorrow...EASTER!

I am in love...

with the photographer we met today. Kyle Hitchcock is AMAZING! She did an awesome job with Gage.  She is one of those people you feel like you have known your whole life. Her website is www.kylehitchcock.com and to view Gage's picts you can enter my email address Loodygirl@hotmail.com. Its going to be hard to choose favorites...they are all so good.

7 months old...already?

Robert Gage Brown is...

happy healthy and has a hearty appetite! 

He is long and like his...not so lean...19 pounds to date!

I remember when we used to be concerned with weight gain...its no longer lacking!

He loves to smile, laugh, talk, eat, play (especially at 2am) and so much more.

He is a daily reminder of God's goodness and mercy.

He is a blessing and has brought much joy to so many.

Chris and I are already proud to be "Gage's parents"

He brings out the best in us and we are better people for having him, knowing him, and watching God work out HIS plan for his life and for our lives too! 

We continue to be...Blessed Beyond Belief!

Sinclair...Harlem...and back home again

Well, we made our debut at Sinclair on March 15th...what a homecoming that was! I remember like it was yesterday when we announced to the church about Gage-his CDH- and what was to come over the next 6 months...they rallied around us, prayed for us, collected money, sent us back and forth to Philadelphia several times, and followed our story step by step. They not only followed our story, they were and are a HUGE part of our story...where would we be without our family?!

We also made our debut at Harlem Baptist Church (Chris' hometown) this past Sunday. That too was a great thing. We got to spend time with more family and enjoy a good service too. It was good to see people that Chris was raised by, with and around. We know they too have prayed for us faithfully and I know that it was so neat to see that faith become sight.

Faith...such a small word for such a big, and so many times hard, thing. The Bible says that faith the size of a mustard seed can move mountains...I don't know about you, but I have a long way to go. I am ever-so thankful that God's faithfulness does not depend on our own.

 

He is faithful when people surprise us, disappoint us, and hurt us.

He is faithful when we surprise people, disappoint them, and at times hurt them too.

He is faithful when the economy is up and down and down and down.

He is faithful when we choose to not to include Him in our day and in our plans.

He is faithful when...no matter what may come...He IS!

Our situation with Gage this year has really put things in perspective for us. Chances are over my lifetime the economy will continue to rise and fall...jobs will come and go...people will continue to change, but one thing (besides the certainty and security of our salvation) that will not ever change is this...God chose to grant Chris and I a miracle in Gage. For some reason he chose us "for such a time as this". We don't know what the future holds for him, but as of right now he is the most "normal" healthy baby you could want to be around. He is sweet, cute as can be, friendly, and I could go on and on. The perspective God has given me and constantly tries to remind me of is this...you are given TODAY...it is a GIFT...you will never get it back and tomorrow may not come. Don't spend all your time on what could have been or on what may be...spend it on what is...and that is TODAY. My goal at this time in life is to be a woman of faith...and to try and build that faith DAY by DAY. Will I always succeed? Will I always be faithful? Do I have faith even the size of a mustard seed...no no and no...but no matter what...HE IS!!! 

What a day!

Well...the long anticipated day arrived...we took Gage to CHURCH! We found it only appropriate for Gage to make his first appearance at my home church. I was born and raised there and Chris proposed to me in the very same church parking lot. The people of County Line Baptist Church loved on us, prayed for us, and raised enough money for my brother and dad to come to Philly for a week...what more could you ask for? The sermon was about the miracles of Christ and Jerry (our pastor) asked the question "Do miracles still happen today"? He looks at us, we stand, and the people of CLBC were able to apply the verse "Their faith became sight". Not only did he speak of the miracle of Gage, but also time after time throughout the year there were various miracles happening in the lives of people all around them...but they happen all around us too...and daily! We just have to be looking- God is still performing miracles- 

He was, is, and always will be!

Good news from the doc...

Gage turned SIX months old on March 4th...so hard to believe I know! Chris and I took him for his check up on Thursday afternoon. He weighs 17 pounds and 6 ounces. He is 27 1/2 inches long and his head circumference is 17 1/2 inches! If you didn't know he was a 5 week early preemie that spent close to 7 weeks in the NICU who came home on a feeding tube unable to tolerate much food...you wouldn't know it now! He LOVES to EAT!!! He is a happy, sweet and friendly little boy. He is getting CLOSE to sleeping all night and we are loving watching him play, laugh and grow! He will be attending his first church service tomorrow morning at my parent's church in Lithia Springs, Ga. I was born and rasied in that church and can't tell you how excited I am that we get to take him tomorrow! We will definetly be posting pictures about the big day! Thanks for continuing to pray and follow our story! We are SO blessed!

Sleeping and Snowing...

Two things I never thought would happen at our house...but as you know...one of them did!

SNOW! It was beautiful and I certainly enjoyed the day out of school. I bet our friends in Philadelphia would laugh if they knew we cancelled school for less than an inch of snow. I called up there and talked to one of our nurses about a month ago and she was late to work that particular day because there was a foot of snow in her driveway and there had been an ice storm the night before- oh well- we have never had a "real" snow storm and she has never had "real" grits or sweet tea...guess we will both just have to take what we can get!

As wonderful and miraculous as the snow was...I cannnot wait wait to have a whole night of the other "s" word...SLEEP! Gage seems to think he is a cat and sleeps and naps accordingly. We thought surely when we started to fill up that little belly with cereal he would sleep the night away- no go. We thought ok- give him some veggies and we will hear him in the morning- no go. I guess the only other option is a suggestion from a friend here in Milledgeville- a chicken leg :) Ok maybe not. I know one day he will sleep through the night, and when that does happen we will probably still wake up on and off because we don't hear him!

On the other hand- I was catching up on a blog I began to follow in Philly about a baby girl a little older than Gage who also has CDH. She had a lot more complications, stayed in the hospital a lot longer,  and is now home on a feeding tube as well as a vent (breathing tube). Things could always be worse and we have SO much to thankful for! 

Just to name a few things I am thankful for:

Salvation and the certainty of Heaven when I die

The marriage and the friendship Chris and I share

Gage- oh the many things that go along with this little miracle!

Family- what an awesome heritage Gage has

Church- not just during the good times, but the in between times too!

Job- Chris and I are both blessed to be doing something we love

Our house...it is home

Friends- old and new- they make hard times doable and good times great

Laughter- it is definitely like good medicine

Changes that are taking place- it means God is getting ready to do something new in our lives

Sunshine- its amazing how much happier we seem when the sun is shining brightly!

I am so very blessed beyond belief!

There may be greater things on this earth...

than my Valentine!!!

than taking walks around the block with this precious little boy

than laying in the floor at night and playing with Gage

than watching Gage spin around in circles

than watching Gage and Chris laugh at each other

There may be greater things on this earth...but I cannot think of any!

bath time is so much fun...

Reading books has become part of our night time routine too!!!

I always knew I would love being a mom...

but I never knew I would love it this much! 

He is a precious gift!