Mother's Day Thoughts...

Dear Gage and Carter-

I love you both so very much. I am proud to be your mommy. I am thankful to be a "boys mom" and would not trade a dinosaur for a hairbow, nor a Thomas train for a pair of ballet slippers for one second! 

Gage- you are God's grace in the flesh. His reminder that miracles still happen...

Carter- you are an example of God's sweet mercy. His reminder than He can be trusted...again and again.

Gage- I know that I am, at times, too protective. I also know that I have probably created and/or fed your fears by my constant "be careful buddy", "watch out buddy", etc. I am trying to give you some growing room, but it's hard. For the first 6 six weeks of your life we watched every rise and fall of your chest and prayed God would let you live. For the first year 6 months I charted every ounce of milk you drank, and counted your every poop. I am thankful God allowed you a chance at life! Not only do you live, you live hard! I cannot wait to see what God has in store for your life. I cannot promise your life will be easy, in fact I can promise you quite the opposite. However...I pray that like Nehemiah...you will be strong and steadfast and that you will not come down from the wall God calls you to build. Robert "Gage" Brown, I am proud to call you my son.

Carter- You are clearly the second child. You fall, you cry, you fill your diaper and it can wait just "one more second little man". Your daddy and I laugh constantly when you are around. Your expressions, your rough housing, your lack of all things orderly, and of course your wrestling matches with Gage. We all adore you Matthew "Carter" Brown and are thankful God sent you our way...you complete us! 

Until September 4, 2008 there had been two MAJOR times God gave me a glimpse of His love. His unconditional love. His "I gave my only son for you" love. That was the day I asked Him in my heart, and the day I married your daddy. He has since given me two more glimpses...being a mother to the two of you!

My precious boys...there are no words to describe what Mothers Day means to me. It is a day for me to remember when, to embrace today, and to anicipate tomorrow. I pray for you daily...for your protection and innocence, for your salvation, for your life decisions, and for your wives.

I love you boys...to the moon and back!

Reflection is a good thing...

Here is where I find myself tonight...

Thankful for my God, my family and friends, my church, and my job.

Thankful for my life group and the opportunity to do life together, talk about real stuff, and to grow closer because of it. Thankful for a story to share, and for people to share it with.

Thankful that God gives us all different convictions...and even more than that...as I grow up I am realizing that it's not my place to push mine on others, nor should I be offended or take it personally when and if they don't share mine. I have also learned that I am not wrong when I don't share theirs. I don't have to defend God's call on my life, I just have to live it out.

My pastor says that "We all have a wall to build". In Nehemiah, a clear picture is painted that there is a work to be done! I am thankful that I get to hammer away bright and early Monday- Friday at Putnam County Primary School. I get to love on kids that are not easy to love. I get love on kids that are. I get to watch kids have "aha moments" and I get to help those who struggle through. I also get to share Jesus with them...each and every day. Despite what is so often said, written, or assumed...as a Christian not only will I not leave God out of my classroom, I cannot...for you see...where I am, there He is also...He lives within my heart. We will pledge, we will pray, we will stand united. We will cry with the family when one of our students is diagnosed with cancer. We will visit with each other when a faculty member dies or someone in their family does. We will donate money, and we will walk for a cause. We will not stand by and become a statistic, and we will not stop building until the wall is complete!

Are you building a wall, or are you tearing one down? It is either one or the other, you cannot do both. God did not call us all to the same "job site", so let's agree to disagree and get to work. Life is too short to watch each other to see if we are doing what is "right"...let's just spur each other on to do what we are called to do.

Love God and love people...