Can I hold him any tighter?

I have learned that in motherhood you go through phases...just as the sweet little ones you are mothering go through them. What I have also found is that their phases are listed in paragraph form in any and every magazine you can pick up (as it relates to children). Even before they are born you know "What to Expect When Expecting" and then you know what happens from 0-3 months, 3-6 months, 6-9 months, etc. What you don't see in all of these magazines is what mommyhood is all about. There are the basics...but not the REAL "stuff" you need to know. I have discovered the reason for this is because you can't truly know until you are right-smack-dab in the middle of it all...be it the good, the bad, or the ugly...there is just no way to prepare...there is also no way or reason to compare from child to child which is another reason "What to Expect as a Mother" is not a best seller at Babies-R-Us.

That being said...the phase I am in right now you ask? The good? The bad? The Ugly?

No...its the wonderful, precious, I just can't get enough of Gage phase. Mind you, he is 2 and definitely has his moments, but right now, for today, I just want to hold him tighter, kiss him more often, and tell him a million times over how very much his daddy and I think he is the best thing that ever happened to us.

I can think of nothing better to have at Christmas than a close family who would rather do nothing more in life than live, laugh, and love together!

The best Halloween ever...

Chris and I are convinced that you take any given thing and use it for good, or for bad. Take Halloween for example. Did we worship ghosts, goblins, and demons today? No way. Did we have a great time watching Gage play with old friends at our Fall Festival at church? Did we then have a great time watching him make new ones as we visited neighbors tonight and they in turn, visited us? Definitely! It all started this afternoon on our way home from church...Gage had to get his nap in...

After a call from our friends Squirel, LeRoy and Nikki, we knew it was time to get ready and go pick them up for the Festival at church.

Gage played in the jump house, went on a hay ride, and played with his best buddy, Madison.

We came home and had to have just ONE piece of candy. We waited and waited on the first trick-or-treaters to come to our house so then we knew it was time to start! Gage was enjoying playing with his candy...dumping it out and cleaning it up!

We only walked to 5 or 6 houses that are right around us, but trust me, we got PLENTY of candy. Chris and I had just as much fun as Gage did! No neighborhood walk is complete without going to visit our favorite neighbor of all...Becki!!

As cute and precious as Gage was all dressed up and going from place to place getting candy,

do you know what my favorite part of the night was? It was when he got SOOOO excited when more "kids" (as he called them) came to the door and he got to put things in their buckets. It was priceless...and as you can see he was on the lookout the whole time!

There may be something sweeter than Superman kisses...but for right now...

I cannot think of one single thing!

Gage's weigh in...

Today was Gage's 2 year (and one month) check up. Here are his stats:

Height- 36.5 inches- 90th percentile

Weight- 29 pounds 13.8 ounces- 69th percentile

Head Circumference- 20 inches- 99th percentile

Just for fun, lets compare the stats above to the ones taken on 10/16/2008

Height- 21 inches- 11th percentile

Weight- 7 pounds 4 ounces- 1st percentile

Head Circumference- 14 inches- 3rd percentile

I have heard many people say about Gage...wow, if you didn't know...you wouldn't know...

I say...I want everyone to know where Gage has come from so they can see and experience first hand what a GREAT BIG God we serve! He is sooo good to us!

I thought I was in love when...

I walked down the aisle on October 1, 2005. At that very moment when I looked to Chris, it was then I thought...it can't possibly get any better than this! We went to Charleston on our honeymoon. We came home to our trailer (at $425 a month rent) and started living like married people. We eventually got a house, a dog, and had a baby...everything "normal" married people do. However, as I looked around, and talked with other people, I discovered something very quickly...Chris and I...were not...and are not...normal. You see, we wake up every day thankful to have each other in our own bed. We talk, we laugh, we cry. When given the choice to go hang out with a group or be together at home, 9 times out of 10 we choose together. We grew up the same way and were raised the same way, and for the most part, we are the same page when it comes to raising Gage. We are simple people who live a simple life, and it WORKS. We don't have to keep up with the Jones'. We don't have to have the best of everything. We have always been taught that enough is as good as a feast, and we have more than enough. Chris doesn't say a whole lot, but when he speaks, people listen. He is smart, he is handsome, and he is funny. He doesn't mix words, he will tell you like it is. He has the strongest love for God and for family that I have ever seen (next to my own dad). He knows me like a book, and is NOT afraid to read it out loud to me when necessary. He spares my feelings, but tells the truth in love. He does not care to impress people...he is what he is ...if you like him fine, if not, fine. Chris is a DEEP thinker and has this amazing love and respect for music. He is often mistaken for shy and sometimes cold, but he is passionate about the things that matter to him, and things that matter to me. I LOVE to watch him him with kids- not just Gage- all kids. He is drawn to them, and they are to him (much like his own dad). I could go on and on about my best friend. As I said before, when we got married, I thought I could not love Chris any more...and then do you know what happened? The next day came...and the next...and with it came a deeper, sweeter love for my sweet husband. Time, experience, kids, and above all, the Lord has kept us together these 5 years, with another 75 to follow. Chris and I love deep, laugh often, and talk daily...that coupled with the Lord's guidance and grace...proves again that we are blessed beyond belief!

Count your blessings name them one by one...

A good friend of mine, Stephanie, blogged not too long ago on things that make her happy. As I read it I thought about what a great idea it was and thought I would make a list too.

Well, days went by and I forgot to be thankful for 26 things, and it just kind of left my mind...until last night when I was doing my quiet time. A couple of girls from school and I are doing a study on the life of David and this particular day was about how Jonathan was used as an instrument of encouragement to David.

I thought of some things that encourage me...all the way from A to Z!

A-Anniversaries. Chris and I will celebrate our 5th one on October 1st!

B-Being a mommy and a wife, 2 of God's highest callings!

C-Chris Brown. He is a good husband, a good daddy, and my best friend!

D-Doctors. With their help from a great big God, my son is doing GREAT!

E-Early morning chats with my mom on the way to school...for SEVEN years now!

F-Family. The Brown's. The LaFavor's. Everyone in between!

G-Gage Brown. He is the smartest and sweetest 2 year old I know.

H-Heritage. I am the 4th generation of public school teachers in my family!

I-Interesting conversations with people. We will leave it at that!

J-Jeans. They encourage me to have a good attitude on Fridays.

K-Kindred spirits. I just started teaching with Kim but it feels like its always been this way.

L-Laughter. It is like medicine and it is GOOD for the soul.

M-Marriage- submission, love, respect, talking, laughing, crying, and just being simple!

N-Never having to doubt my salvation. God saved me once and for all! I am so thankful!

O-Ol'Captain. That is my dad. I love his fishing tales...its not about the fish...its about the people.

P-Provision. We have never had a need the Lord hasn't met!

Q-Quiet. When both of my boys are asleep...and its just ME time.

R-Remote ministry in the Boddie Projects...its not about the ice cream...its about the people.

S-Sinclair Baptist Church. Period.

T-Teaching kindergarten inclusion and working with a GREAT staff.

U-Unconditional friends. Hollie and I have been best friends since we were 16 years old!

V-Vacation time with the Brown's! Always a fun time!

W-Watching people laugh, enjoy themselves, and feel comfortable.

X-eXciting trips to the mountains with 30 women to talk about and sing to our God!

Y-Yard. We are the only house with grass in the back, so the neighborhood kids are always playing ball out there. It won't be long before Gage is right there with them.

Z-Zoo. This is going to be a fun trip, next Friday, for Chris, Gage, and I!

I have SOOOO many things to be thankful for...what are you most thankful for right now?

Avalon sings a song about it being a new day...

thank goodness that is true after reading my last blog...how depressing! Every "dog has its day" but mine is over. I am too blessed to be stressed and throwing a pity party. Its good to vent from time to time, but then its time to look around and say...ENOUGH of this! Can't wait to post about Gage's SECOND birthday!!!

Its my blog and I will whine if I want to...

I am tired!
I am ready for the weekend.
I am ready for our 10 year reunion to come...and to go.
I wish all 5 year olds would behave, listen, follow directions, and more importantly come with a good support system.
Everyone and everything is on my nerves.
I can't stand when people offer plenty of complaints but offer no suggestions to "fix" what is "broken".
I also can't stand when people think if you aren't on their boat, you will SINK.
I agree that if you aren't involved you will feel uninvited...just never thought it would apply to me.
I am ready to spend some quality time with Hollie- even if its just dinner in Macon.
I am ready to hear all about Stephanie's Kenya trip, but there is not enough time in the day!
I am ready to get over this beginning of the school year slump...

There is a fine line between...

holding on and letting go!

Gage will be 2 in less than a month and it has been hitting me harder that I ever would have imagined! He has given up his passy completely. He is beginning to give up his sippy cup (hence the reason they change his clothes at least twice daily at school) and he sits on the potty every hour at school(no luck yet). To the mother who has been there and done that you know these are BIG steps...and a lot to take in all at one time. His teacher at school says he doesn't really like to color at school...instead he likes to eat the crayons...he is trying to use his big boy cup, but more ends up in his lap than in his mouth- and to that the defensive side of me is thinking...well if he is eating the crayons he is either bored or he doesn't like to color- its not that he can't- he doesn't want to :) If he is spilling milk and juice all over himself put a top back on it for Heaven sakes...what does it matter??? While all of this is going on in my head, the teacher in me is hearing the mom in me and telling her to SHUT UP... I am reminding myself that he will do all that is requirred of him in time...when he is ready! There is this constant war going in my head and it sounds something like this...hold on tighter...no, let him grow...he is just a baby...wake up and look at him- he is growing up...slow down...no don't- we are having so much fun...let me hold you...but I love watching you run around the house...let's cuddle in my bed...no, its REALLY nice when you sleep so sound in YOUR bed...etc, etc, etc

There is no possible way Chris and I could be more proud of Gage. He is a precious gift from God and we could never thank Him enough for allowing us the opportunity to raise him. What an awesome responsibility He has entrusted us with. Gage is so tall and healthy, so happy, so sweet and so smart. He loves to laugh and sing and count. He loves to read books and talk...and talk...and talk. He can be a little nosey at times (not sure where he gets this). He loves Elmo, Thomas the train, and unfortunately...Barney. It is an amazing thing...being a mom...Chris and I constantly look at each other with "that look" and in both of our minds we are thinking we are-

BLESSED BEYOND BELIEF!!!

Who would have ever thought that time...

wouldn't stop...

but instead...

FLY SO FAST!!!

We still believe...

in MIRACLES!!!

One of my all time favorite photos...

That's what friends are for...

in good times, in bad times, I'll be on your side forever more....are you familiar with the song?

It's an oldie but a goodie!

My best friend Hollie is that forever friend to me! We met when we were 16 years old during the summer of one of the most pivotal years in high school. I wish I could say we were "bff at first sight" but it was not so much that way for us. She had just moved to Ga from Texas and as much as she talked about it I figured she would soon be catching the next flight "home". Her dad was in the army and throughout her first 16 years of life, she moved state to state to state. It took me a while to realize she just needed some time to adjust...and I wasn't exactly helping her...I am so thankful she came to Ga! We got past the initial funky time and moved almost immediately into a "best friendship"! Hollie and I went through high school together- disappointments in people and all! We came to college together, found our church home together, met our spouses at the same place...they lived in the same dorm! We fulfilled our dreams to become a teacher and a nurse at the same time. We were in each other's weddings, and there for each other during the births of our boys. Just as divorce is so rampant in our culture these days, so it is with friends, hard times come, ditch'em and find a new one. Hollie and I have had plenty of opportunities to ditch and divorce each other but, thank the Lord, we never have. Hollie has been there for me during some of the most critical times in my life when I could talk to nobody else...she is irreplaceable and she is more than a friend, she is family!

All that said to say...we are pushing 29 and I dare say...we are closer than ever! Our boys are about a year apart and we LOVE to see them play together. It is my prayer that Gage and Rowan will find in each other the friend that Hollie and I have in each other!

Ahhh...the beach

Here are three of my favorite beach pictures...there are more to come!

All in a good week...

- cleaning out and reorganizing all of the drawers and closets in the house

-finishing up discipleship with Mrs. Sally (it took us about two and half years) but it was well worth it...I am so glad we did it, and completed it! She has always and will always be a very special mentor and friend in my life!

-spending the day with Hollie and Rowan (we were having so much fun laughing with the boys we forgot to take any pictures)

-spending the evening with my Sunday School class cooking supper at the Ronald McDonald House in Macon...for a few minutes in my mind I was back in Philadelphia...just remembering!

-today...I still have a long list of "fun" stuff to complete

I love summer!

What is the sweetest sound you ask?

It would have to be Gage and his two friends Leroy and "Squirrel" in the back-seat laughing and talking tonight on the way to church. What makes it so sweet? Gage could care less that these two boys do not look like him, dress like him, or live in his neighborhood...when he sees them...he sees his friends. He screamed with excitement when they got in the car, and he cried with disappointment when they got out.

Thank you Lord for being so faithful to answer our prayers for our son...we pray this sweet attitude follows him all the days of his life!

A good Saturday includes...

Gage sleeping until 7:00...

An early morning walk before it gets too hot and Gage waving to and talking with all of the neighborhood dogs...

Saturday morning cartoons...our favorites...Elmo and Curious George

The smell of Chris' coffee and the sound of he and Gage laughing in the kitchen

Fun in the sun on the back porch with Gage playing in/around his pool as Chris is cutting the grass and waving at Gage every time he passes by on the lawn mower

An easy and yummy dinner and then being tired of staying at home...so a quick trip down the road to see and feed the "ducks" AKA geese at Walter B Williams Park

While there my mind wandered back to memories of being an 18 year old girl playing softball where we are now pushing Gage in the swing. My mind also remembers a picnic date Chris and I had there not long after we first started dating (we will be married 5 years in Oct and have been together 8) I can also remember taking 2 boys I used to babysit swimming there and they are now in middle and high school...Walter B...not a bad place!

Giving Gage a bath, a breathing treatment, and a kiss before putting him to bed!

What is my favorite thing about this Saturday?

We spent it together...just the three of us...no plans...no obligations...nobody else...just me and my two favorite boys!

Is it fair to be this blessed? Certainly not! It's grace, and God's love and blessings! Thank you Lord for a great day! We can't wait to worship You tomorrow with our Sinclair family!

Saturday was a hit...

Thanks to everyone who made Saturday a success...from bringing/cooking food, to setting up, to picking up the women and kids, to serving food, to watching the kids, to visiting with the women, to taking home, to cleaning up...you truly displayed the "body" of Christ...each one had a part! Thanks a lot! I am looking forward to our next event the last Wednesday in May...mark your calendars!!!

I have gotten a lot of feedback/response about helping on Saturday...it gets me REALLY excited! I wanted to give you an unofficial itinerary and ask you to respond.

Saturday, May 15th

Set up: 9:00...tables, chairs, test the sound equip, decorations, etc.

We may get there and get it done in 30 minutes, or may take 2 hours...but I would rather have too much time than not enough. If there is a lot of time left over we can help cook AND ride to the neighborhood earlier than planned.

Needed: help moving tables, chairs, etc.

Transportation: 11:00ish...Chris is going to head up this area...we hope to have the van ready by then, but if not, the more people who can drive...the less trips it will take!

Needed: drivers and vehicles

Eating at 12:00ish...We will be serving the ladies chicken, green beans, potatoes, rolls, and desserts. We will be drinking tea and lemonade. The kids are going to eat pizza and drink juice.

Needed: desserts!!!

If you would like to donate frozen pizzas and/or juice boxes that would be welcomed too!

We will be cooking all morning, so if you want to donate $ to the chicken, buy potatoes, green beans and/or rolls...please respond to this email simply so we don't all purchase the same things. We are going to plan for 50.

Program during lunch: a friend of mine from school is bringing a group of dancers from her church to perform.

Needed: a friendly smile and a welcoming spirit!

Chris and I have heard from several people...we are REALLY looking forward to Saturday as well as other events to follow in the neighborhood. Above all else for Saturday we ask you for the following things: prayer, love, a friendly word...as Chris and I were talking tonight after passing out flyers, he said...I hope these women feel like queens on Saturday...and my prayer is that they will feel like queens...not a cause. I know yall and I know your love for the Lord and can't wait to share it with these women and their children alongside of you on Saturday!

Lauren and Chris

Fun times with our MAC

He is PRECIOUS...love him more EVERY SINGLE DAY!!!

What has HE done for me lately?

Are you familiar with the song? This post is not about my "man"...it's about my God!

Well...for months after I became a mom I prayed for my "place"... at home, at church, at work, and just in life. I went from being involved in too many things to being involved in what I thought was nothing...just being a mom. For those months I spent searching to find myself, it turned out for the first year of his precious life, Gage was my ministry, is my ministry, and will be until God calls us home. That said, there had to be something more to it for me. I wanted there to be something "in ministry" that Chris, Gage, and I could all do together. If you read my previous post, you know that God provided an opportunity for us to be involved in local missions in a neighborhood near our home. Gage will grow up, as Chris and I did, knowing that there are people that don't look like him, smell like him, talk like him, and it is our prayer that he will grow to love them with the love of the Lord. Did God stop there? In the words of my dad...I thought you would never ask...

Not only did I pray for a opportunity to minister, I prayed for a desire to read God's word, so what did He do? He put it on the heart of a girl I teach with to start a Bible Study...there are 6 girls in our group- all as crazy as I am- which makes it very interesting and encouraging! In that Bible study that I also referred to in my previous post I was reminded that God is the ultimate provider. See...I hate debt...I hate to owe anyone money...including credit cards, hospital bills, etc. I guess you could call it worry, but I like call it a "concern" when it comes to money. Even though God has provided for our every need and want...I still "concern" myself with the area of finances...so what did God do? He provided money for us to pay off our credit card bill (more that we could ever think)...and then He provided some more money for that unexpected hospital bill (and more that we can imagine). He is too good! Does he just take care of the big things you ask? NO- we recently gave away our dog, Bella, she had a bad habit of using the bathroom all over our hallway carpet and since our scare with Gage possibly having asthma it seemed the perfect time to give her away. Unfortunately when Bella moved out, her stains stayed...so what did God do? He provided some great men to rip up the carpet and put down hard wood floors...the verse is true that says that if God provides food for the birds, He will take care of us too. He is a great God, and we are undeserving, but ever-so-grateful children!

What has He done for you lately?

Easy Come...Easy Go

Gage is starting at a new "school" as I like to call it, tomorrow, and we really appreciate your prayers for an easy transition. Sometimes the "whys" aren't as important as just knowing that a need is being asked to be lifted up in prayer...we sure would appreciate it!

If you do what you have always done...

You will get what you have always gotten.

Solution?

Do it differently!!!

I had the opportunity to meet with my Pastor the other night at church and discuss some upcoming events in the life of a ministry that God placed on my heart as a high school student, and more recently and specifically on the heart of Chris and I both...loving and serving people who are many times overlooked...well looked over is more like it, misunderstood, judged, passed by, forgotten, and just...different. They don't "deserve" to be loved and helped because of the choices that they have made and many times continue to make. They appreciate nothing and are owed everything...

I am thinking right now about my own life...there are times when I have been overlooked, I have definitely been misunderstood, judged, passed by, forgotten, and very different from those around me! I have never and will never deserve all of the love and help that is in my life. I often times find myself needing to be thanked, patted on the back, and certainly not being in a state of thankfulness.

What is the difference between these people I LONG to love and share Jesus with and me?

God. Jesus. Forgiveness. Salvation. Choices. Mercy. Grace.

What did Andy and I talk about? Well...for years we have invited and waited...nothing. We have invited and waited...nothing. We got the same results because we always did the same thing. Solution? Do it differently! We are taking Jesus to them...and on a "church night". We are not just going to invite them to where we are, we are going to where they are. What did Jesus do? Invite and then hope for the best? NO- he went to where the people were who needed him and ministered there. That is exactly what He did in my life...He came to me right where I was...and made Himself known to me...I accepted Him as my Savior...my eternity is secure! How could we not want that for everyone we know, especially those who may not hear unless WE GO to them?!

Thanks Andy for seeing outside of the box. Let us all support and follow our Pastor out of Kadesh-barnea...let us all be so tired of wandering in the same circles that we join him...and join God...and commit to doing things differently. What if we are on the brink of the Promised Land and are too scared that it may be too risky. Let us not find ourselves in the "oasis of complacency" (Priscilla Shirer)but rather walk forward and choose to be D I F F E R E N T! We (I) have tried my way for far too long. I have read that sometimes our biggest hindrance in growing is the last great thing God did...as awesome as God was in Philadelphia...I don't need to limit Him to something that happened almost 20 months ago...He wants to continue to do an awesome work...daily!

He wants to do more than we can ever think...or...imagine! He is a great big God!

My two favorite boys in the whole world!

Why do you go to Sunday School?

Chris and I go for reasons just like last night! We had our "March social" at our house. We are in a class with people our age, older, and then a little older than that :) We are building new relationships and deepening old ones. Some of these people have been our friends since I was 18 years old (I will turn 29 in October). Some of these people's prayer got us to Philadelphia and back...and so did their finances. Chris and I have grown to love and respect every one of them for various reasons, but the main one is...they run the race and they keep the faith. We are working on reaching out and reaching in. We are working on taking time out of "life" to spend time with each other. Does it make a difference? It makes all the difference. We go to Sunday School so that we can be open, real, encourage and be encouraged. We go because that is how we were raised, and when our faith became our own and then when it was tested, these people that poured their lives into ours and us into theirs...they were there, they are there, and they will be there. We go to Sunday School so that when Gage is 30 years old and his wife is blogging, she will be able to say the same thing about their parents as we say about ours...that we are all blessed beyond belief!

The foxes fight hard, but we will fight HARDER

I am glad to report that we were pressed but not crushed, persecuted not abandoned, struck down but NOT destroyed!

Does Gage have asthma...yes...but...it could always be worse! Praise God that his life was spared almost 19 months ago... he eats, drinks, laughs, loves, reads books, says words, plays with Elmo and Big Bird, and isgrowing big and strong. We will do our breathing treatments every morning and every night and take one day at a time.

Does Chris have to work "over time" sometimes...yes...but it could always be worse. Praise God that he has a job at all. Praise God it looks like he isn't going to lose it any time soon. He loves his job, the people he works with, and what he does, and according to my friend Stephaine...it doesnt' get much better than that!

Is my jaw still locked...yes...but...you guessed it...it could always be worse. I keep saying I want to lose some weight...soft foods for the next 4 weeks...unless I make all my meals on milkshakes I should shed a few pounds. Through this whole "jaw" situation I was reminded how good it is to "know people who know people"...I saw an oral surgeon and an orthodontist in the same day AND got a mouthpiece to hopefully correct this problem sooner than thanks later...thanks Cindy and Angie!

Its funny how the "valley" and "wilderness" times get you thinking things like...if only I would have prayed for Gage more maybe he wouldn't have gotten asthma...if only I would SHUT my own mouth more God would not have had to shut if for me...BUT THEN...I remembered (and was reminded) we serve a God full of love, grace, and mercy. We serve a God who is not a worldly god, but the ONE TRUE GOD. Does life happen-certainly. Does God get surprised when it does- certainly not! For every fox Satan sends running at us, God has a hole ready to bury him in, but the shovel is in OUR hands...let's be people who pour the dirt on top and seal it so God can get the glory and satan will know his place!

Thanks for your love and prayers! We are truly blessed beyond belief!

Sometimes...its the little foxes that get ya

I don't know if you know what I mean...but sometimes its the little "foxes" the Bible calls them that get us down. Its the ear infections, snotty noses, doctor's visits, day care costs, asthma diagnosis and the missing church and feeling so out of the loop...sometimes its the "I'll be late tonight I have to film something"...sometimes its the 12 hours and counting of "lock jaw" when I can' pry my mouth open, the need for Spring Break, the need to finish getting taxes ready to send them off, the FEAR of getting pregnant again (no we aren't trying yet) because "what if" baby number 2 has CDH? Sometimes the day to day can just get a girl down...

until...

her momma comes for a visit. If you know my mom at all, you know she knows just what and how to say things that NEED to be said. She is a Godly and loving woman, and when God says say it or pray it, she does just that. She said something like this...Gage has come so far since Philadelphia...and the same God who was there is with him now. No, its not your sin and lack of faithfulness that has caused Gage to be sick, our God is not a human or earthly god AT ALL. We are all thankful that Chris has a job, and a flexible one at that, want me to keep Gage so you can spend some time with Chris...Let's call it what it is "Loody" your jaws are clamped so tight because you are STRESSED and WORRIED. Call it what you want to, but its a FEAR that God cannot handle the things that are happening. Relax, pray, PRAISE, and trust in the ONLY one who can and WILL guide your steps!

What do people do without Godly parents, family, and friends? Why do I not tap into the power source that I know I have in Christ that has been there so many times before?

Another question just occurred to me (by way of priscilla shirer)...if I am tired of the little foxes that get me...why not get out of the foxhole all together? Maybe its just easier to be stuck in sin and say we want out than actually doing what it takes to GET OUT...Trust and obey...for there's no other way...to be happy in Jesus...but to trust and obey.

Gage is sleeping

My jaw is still locked

our air conditioner is now frozen over

BUT (change of direction)

I can TRUST and KNOW that God is bigger than the foxes and He did not create me to mingle with them, but he created me for a much greater purpose, to bring Him glory.

Lets tighten up our boot straps and get about HIS business and quit being so caught up in ours.

18 months ago...

Gage is 18 months today and these are some things I have learned/am learning...

God is good

God is faithful

God still works miracles

God is present wherever His people are...be it in Milledgeville, Ga or Philadelphia,Pennsylvania

He works through those people in MANY ways

Life in the NICU is hard

Life in the NICU without God and His people praying would have been harder

I don't always understand why...

I don't have to

I am not responsible for the how...

just the OBEY

God is in charge even when we think we are...even when we think we aren't

There is no place like home!

Life is too short to get caught up in petty things that do not matter

I forget that too quickly and do not remember it often enough

Life is about taking one day at a time-and giving 100% when you are where you are

Life does not offer promises, but God does...and He is the God of His word!

Becoming a mom has helped me draw a parallel of God's love for us

There is nothing I would not do or give for Gage

Its not fair to expect anyone to be perfect that can't be...especially Gage...and myself

God is perfect yet He is the very One we DON'T expect perfection from

Life is not about me...its all about God...

He doesn't need us but created us to bring Him glory

Gage is example to Chris and I of:

God's goodness, mercy, unconditional love, and grace

Lately I have also come to realize that there is nothing like...

the smell of baby lotion

the feel of sweet naked baby skin fresh out of the bath tub

watching Gage entertain himself in his crib when he wakes up in the morning or from a nap

looking down and seeing him hold his arms up wanting to be held

hearing him say "daddy" as he watches him pull up the driveway

watching he and Chris laugh, play, wrestle, and read books

hearing Gage read books as he is sure to point to every page

seeing Gage sitting in his big boy chair eating big boy food

having a pediatrician who we love and trust

watching Gage play with other children

being proud when Gage points to his (and my) nose, eyes, and hair

making eye contact and watching him RUN over when I pick him up from "school"

hearing him say new words...even if they are made up

rocking him in the rocking chair and singing sweet hymns of the faith

watching him sleep in his crib at night when I have checked on him for the 100th time

realizing he isn't going to be perfect and neither am I

having a great husband who is also a great father and not to mention...my best friend!

All in all I would say...

Gage had a rough start

but I wouldn't change a day

God is so sovereign

and at the Brown house we continue to be...Blessed Beyond Belief!!!

OREO COOKIES!!!

ITS...SNOW...TIME