What's in a name?

Matthew "Carter" Brown.

Where did your name come from?

Does it matter?

Of course it does!

Matthew is my brother's middle name. And Carter...well...it's just cute! If name has anything to do with character and integrity, Carter will be set with Matthew as his first name. Many of you do not know my brother personally, but let me assure you, he is one of the best around and he put the i in integrity. He is tall, he is strong, he is handsome, and he is a believer in all things family. He works hard, he talks soft, and he gives 100% in any and everything he does. Growing up, we were close, which is odd for siblings that are 6 years apart...especially considering when he was a senior in high school I was a 6th grader. Nonetheless...we had a special tie that bound us, and still do, to this very day. My brother would do anything for anybody and it only seemed fitting for my son to share his name. We don't get to see each other much because life and family keep us busy, but those short moments we do get a chance to talk, I absolutely treasure it. I can remember my brother praying for me as a little girl facing challenges that came my way. I can remember going through my teenage years and advice that he would give...most from personal experiences. I can remember he and his family being in my wedding and that will forever be a huge blessing, but the greatest thing I can ever remember him doing was hopping a plane with my dad and coming to see us in Philadelphia. I am quite sure he will NEVER know how special that was to me. He put his life on hold, just to make sure mine was going to be ok. That is how he does things- not perfectly- but selflessly- making sure everyone else is taken care of. He can give me a simple smile and a glance and in an instant all is well with the world. He is a husband and a father and I am sure Meredith, Jacob, and Macie could and would attest to how great he is. He is not perfect mind you, nor does he claim to be, but I think sometimes people just need to hear (or read) about how much they are admired for doing their best!

Gage and Carter will have a much different relationship than Chad and I did for many reasons, but several things I hope they share...a mutual love, respect, and appreciation for one another. A respect for their parents. A strong work ethic, one that was passed down to us from our own parents. A love for family, and of course a love for God. I hope that when they are grown with their own families that they too will take time to talk on the phone (or on FB) and just stay in touch.

My dad says that one of the most important things you have in life is your name. It is up to you to make that name mean something. It is also up to you to carry on the legacy of that name, or if it's not a legacy worth carrying on, that you make that name mean something. When you shake someone's hand and say "I am Horace LaFavor", it will leave a lasting impression...but it's how to you what type of lasting impression that will be.

I wonder what my name means to people. I don't want to only be known as the sarcastic one, or the one with all of the jokes, or the one who always has something to say. I want to make the "LaFavor's" and the "Brown's" proud. More than that however, I am reminded as I type, I wear another name...the name of Christ. It is my prayer that people will know that I am a Christian first, and everything else comes after that. Christian first, wife next. Christian first, mommy next. Christian first, teacher next. If I will keep that perspective, I know my attitude will improve...as will my words, thoughts, and actions.

What name do you wear, and do you wear it well?

Perspective...

It's what God gives you when the "little foxes" are nipping at your heels.

Perspective is seeing an accident as a praise that nobody was hurt and someone reminding you that stuff is just stuff...especially when that person has lost someone they love very much. Thank you Mr. Ronnie for your help, and the reminder!

Perspective is seeing it as an opportunity to build character when you have to talk to someone about something they don't even realize they are doing wrong.

Perspective is understanding that one day your little boy will grow up and no longer stinky on the bathroom floor at school nor will he roll around the floor of the hair salon because he doesn't want a hair cut...thank you for your patience Mrs. Vet, Ms. Nicole, and Mrs. Christa.

(For those minds who are wondering...yes he got a haircut the next day instead and it looks awesome and he even showed out today and pooped IN the potty at school)!

Perspective is realizing that when you go to crank your car (after the two incidents mentioned above) and it won't even pretend to start, to be thankful your in-laws are in town and can come pick you up.

Perspective is sitting in Sunday School during prayer request time busting at the seams to share about your "awful week" when instead you take a minute to listen to those around you request prayer for friends with cancer, death in the family, adoption, jobs, etc...

All of a sudden...you are thankful you have two cars in the shop...they will get fixed eventually. All of a sudden...you are reminded that you are who you are because of numerous character building sessions with people who loved you enough to have a little chat.

All of a sudden...you are reminded that that little "stinky bottom boy" that was throwing that fit is healthy and strong, and beat all odds to just be alive.

All of a sudden...you are in a place where you can hear the Sunday School lesson out of James where it says to "Be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry". What a challenge, right? As a child I was taught that God gave us two ears and one mouth so that we could listen twice as much as we speak. I am pushing 30 and have yet to apply that simple truth to my life. I will wake up tomorrow and try again. I will wake up tomorrow and pray for perspective, God's perspective. I will pray for the ability to listen as others speak and try for just a minute to "wear their burden" and for just a minute put ME aside, and see things from another's perspective.

Has it really been three years...

I can't believe its been three years since I was at the Children's Hospital of Philadelphia with my mom calling Whitney (my sister-in-law) on the phone in Eatonton, Georgia asking her to please help Chris pack, book a flight for THAT DAY, get him to the airport and get him to where I was. The doctor's were certain Gage was coming, and SOON!

It all seems like a whirlwind, but at the same time I can recall it day by day and detail by detail. I never get tired of writing about/typing about/or speaking about what God has done in the life of our family.

Robert "Gage" Brown was born on September 4, 2008. He was 6 lbs and 14 oz. He was 19.5 in. long. He screamed when they pulled him from my tummy, and we didn't hear another sound from his sweet lips for weeks. He was given a 50% chance of making it full term, and a 75% chance after that. The odds were stacked against him from the get go...he was premature and he was a c-section baby. As I have said many times before...I am thankful to love and serve a God who does not work in percentages, and shines when it seems the odds are stacked against us. To HIM be all the glory! Gage had surgery 5 days after his birth to put his bowels, spleen, and appendix back in their proper places since they had been in his chest cavity since he was 20 weeks inside of me. We spent the next 6 weeks at CHOP and in the Ronald McDonald House in Philly. It was a long road, but I am thankful we walked it! God was so good and gracious to us the whole time and still is today. It will take a lifetime-and beyond- to realize each detail and God's guidance behind it, but I pray I never cease trying to and then thanking Him for it!

Gage will be three tomorrow. He is tall, he is strong, he is smart, and he is precious. He loves people, he loves school, he loves cars and trains, he loves books, and he loves life. God has given him the ability-even at three-to love life. To take in each day. To appreciate the little things. To breathe deep, to laugh loud, and to love hard. Whatever he does, he does it well and with precision. He is not perfect, and I am learning not to expect him to be, but he tries hard to do his best. I don't know if there is anything sweeter than a love between a momma and her son. He makes me melt, he makes me laugh, and he makes me proud. I don't know how Mary did it, when she raised Jesus, knowing the end result of His life would be for a sinner like me. I don't know how, but I am thankful she did, and I am thankful for the example she set as a mother. I pray I will love Gage as she loved Jesus...every day, every way, and in every circumstance. I want to be his biggest fan, and I pray that one day when he chooses his wife, he will look for some of the same qualities he saw in me. I hope what he sees in Chris and I will one day put in him desire to have that same type of marriage...not for a LONG LONG time though!!

Sometimes life is hard, and life is busy, and life is stressful, but even in those times God whispers...you my child...are blessed beyond belief. It's not because we deserve it, or have earned it, its simply because God is so good!

18 weeks and growing...

Dear little one-

You are about the size of a bell pepper.

I haven't felt you move around yet, but am confident that you are because my belly is growing by the day to make room for your dance moves.

Your daddy has been very patient with my since school has started back (as he always is) but he has been especially tolerant of my ILL moods lately!

You have made the taste of tomatoes as sweet as candy, the crunch of a pickle (or three) taste like Heaven, and I am enjoying at least 2 bowls of Frosted Flakes a day...they're GREAT!

People are starting to stare at my belly and realize that there is a baby in there...it's not just too many burgers and fries after all.

Your big brother wants to know if you are going to eat his cheese balls, play with his dinosaurs, and if he can read to you when you get here.

The big question now is...are you a boy or a girl? Your daddy and I will be thrilled either way. Our main prayer is not for your gender, but for your health and safety. We find out in two weeks "what" you are, but more importantly we find out "how" you are. I can't promise you many things in this life, but just like I promised your big brother when he was growing in me...your daddy and I will love you with every ounce of our being. We will do our best to raise you the way the Lord wants us to. Deeper than our love will be and is the love of our Savior! We pray for the salvation for both you and Gage already, and are confident that God has big things planned.

I will see you in 2 weeks!

Mommy

I prayed for the perfect Summer...

and I got it!

I knew that this summer would be my last summer alone with Gage and I wanted it to be as great as it possibly could be. When Summer break comes around next year Gage will have a 4 month old little brother or sister, so this was his last year to have me all to himself. We had the best time together. He has got to be the funniest 2 (very soon to be 3) year old kid I have ever seen. You NEVER know what he is going to say next. I think what I love most about him though, is that he doesn't meet a stranger. He loves deep and he laughs hard!

We had both a fun and very productive summer break.

We attempted Tuesday story time at the library, but I have come to learn that if Gage can't hold the book or be right up close to it, he has NO interest. I think he may be a bit of a control freak!

We spent Wednesday mornings at his school reading books and making crafts with his friends and teachers. That was great fun, and I hope it gave Mrs. Fran and Mrs. Kijuana a little break!

Wednesday nights we spent in the Boddie Projects talking about Jesus, playing with friends, and passing out snow cones, popcorn, or cotton candy.

We had several play dates with our best friends Hollie and Rowan. These two boys together equal a big mess to clean and a sore belly from laughing so hard. I say it often, but I hope Gage and Row one day have the friendship Hollie and I have!

We swam with our friends Frank, Cathryn, Paige, Milo and Rudy...Gage LOVED it! They have always been dear friends, and I would be willing to bet that they will NEVER know the difference they have made in my life!

We had several lunch dates with our friend Stephanie...Gage loves to hang out with Stephanie, and her husband "Meester Wayne".

We also hung out with Becki, Jamie/Brayden, Jamie/Jameson/Joshua...in all of those different combinations of friends...we ate LOTS of Chick-fil-a...hey we even climbed to the TOP of the playground (and I do mean WE)!!!

We met daddy a few times for lunch and went to visit him at work so we could also see Mr. Stacy.

There were 3 beach trips for Gage, as well as trips to Powder Springs and Harlem. Both sets of grandparents made several trips to Milledgeville too! He was quite the traveler.

As much fun as Gage and I had on the go...my favorite times...were right here at home. The times where we wore our pajamas until we HAD to change clothes. The times we laid together on the couch watching "Thomas the train" and "Mickey Mouse Clubhouse". We had countless hours crashing cars, lining up trains, doing puzzles and reading books. I cannot begin to tell you how many blueberry muffins were consumed this summer, but the boy can put away some breakfast food! We would go from the living room, to his "big boy room" to the computer (when Nana was here), to "mommy and daddy's room" and back around again...one thing is for sure...Gage is always on the go. He wakes up early, and when he does, he is rEaDy to pLaY!

I cannot believe school starts tomorrow. I will begin my 8th year of teaching kindergarten at Putnam County Primary School. Time flies when you are having fun. I have been in Milledgeville for 11 years now! You know what? As AWESOME as this summer was for us, I always get excited about a new school year. This year will bring changes like none before it, but I know that God has called me to be where I am, and to do what I do, and for that I am very grateful.

Chris and I are also grateful that while we are at work-care is being provided for our little boy... care that is better than we could have ever hoped for. To Chris and I "The Learning Safari" is more than just a "day care facility". It is a place where Gage feels safe and is loved. He loves the workers and the children, and they love him too. It is more that just a place for him to stay while we work that provides meals, nap time, and a snack. It is a place of endless stories of friends he has made, things he has learned, and new toys/activities he has the chance to play with/take part in. Gage is partly who is because of this "home away from home" and Chris and I are thankful God sent us there. The innocence of a child can be stripped away in just seconds, so as parents you hope and pray that you are constantly making right decisions and doing the best you can for your child. This is not a perfect place, and it's not for every family, but it is definitely for the Brown's. Look out Mrs. Vet and Mrs. Nicole...you will have your hands full with Gage Brown. He will warm your heart, make you laugh, bring you challenges, and at the end of the day (or in my case at the end of the Summer) all you will be able to do is smile real big, hug him real tight, and kiss him on his sweet little cheeks!

Lord, thank you for this summer. It was truly perfect. You have done it again...you have blessed us beyond belief!

I have a heavy heart...

-for a childhood friend whose marriage is struggling. I haven't talked to her in a long time, but I hope that she knows that I am praying for her, her husband, and her two sweet babies.

-for the mother of 3 (this year will make 4) precious children I have taught. Doctors found a tumor in her husband's head this week, and he will have brain surgery tomorrow.

-for two special friends at work whose mother has been battling cancer, overcome so many odds, and is now facing rehab because of a recent fall that resulted in surgery.

-for two other special friends at work who will be making some MAJOR changes this year that we NEVER saw coming.

-for several friends who are desiring to get pregnant.

-for a friend whose husband's back is causing him a lot of trouble and pain and the doctors don't know what the cause is.

-for a friend who is struggling with a relationship.

-for a friend whose husband is praying about leaving his current job to possibly start a new career.

-for a friend whose husband has has some alarming symptoms, been to all of the "major hospitals" and no doctor can find the cause behind his ailment.

-for a long time friend of our family who battled cancer, won the fight, but continues to struggle with side effects from new medicines and constant infection.

-for a friend who has just graduated from college, has been on countless interviews, but none have resulted in a job offer.

-for a friend who is about to lose three people she loves dearly to a job change.

-for a local day care owner and her family who have lost more in the past few months than anyone should have to lose in a lifetime.

-for a college friend who lost her dad to a heart attack...they were so very close!

If I just stopped this post right here, with all of these situations, this would be pretty depressing read wouldn't it? It would sound as though I, and everyone on this list, was defeated. It would sound as though we have to just sit with heavy hearts, and let the chips fall where they may.

BUT GUESS WHAT?

We don't just sit and hope for the best, we can PRAY for the best. We can claim the best. We can talk to God HIMSELF and ask Him exactly what is best. What will happen with this marriage, this husband, and these friends? We can approach the throne of grace with confidence. As hard as these times are that my dear sweet friends are facing, none of these situations are a surprise to God. He is the same yesterday, today, and forever. He will not and cannot change. As big as the things are, He is oh so much bigger. He still works miracles! I have found that when we are faced with the unknown, or the odds are stacked against us, that is when He shines the most! My God likes to defy the odds!

As heavy as my heart is, it is also overflowing with thanksgiving that I have the opportunity to lift up my brothers and sisters in prayer! It is also our obligation to pray. How could we not? Think about the last time someone prayed for you...when people bless your life, like each of the people mentioned above continually bless mine...you can't help but talk to God on their behalf.

Brown...party of 4

Every day since I started blogging about Gage, I wondered how I would begin THIS VERY blog. I wondered if it would be labeled "Gage is going to be a big brother" or if I would have something clever to say, but my best friend Hollie said it best when she texted me "Brown party of 4."

As some of you may know it took Chris and I a year and a half to get pregnant with Gage, so naturally we were sure it would take just as long or longer the second go around. Well...actually...this time...it was only 4 months!! WOW! For those of you who have been pregnant before you know what I mean when I say "you just know". I knew the next week we were going to have a baby. I didn't say anything to anyone, but I just knew, but I definitely needed some proof. I was at the Dollar Tree buying two tests in May and I said to the lady "can you please bags these several times, I don't want my husband to see them. HA- you should have seen the look on her face. I quickly explained that IF there was in fact a baby in my belly my husband was DEFINITELY the daddy, but if there was not I didn't want us both to be disappointed. She smiled and said to keep her posted. I took both tests an hour apart and they both said the same thing- positive. I took one more just for good measure! This Thursday we will be 10 weeks along, and the time is already flying by.

In all of this excitement, there is also some cautious awareness that seems to never want to leave my ever thinking brain. We are about 10 weeks away from when we found out about Gage's CDH. Our doctor is sending us to our same specialist for the very same check up just to be on the safe side. Gage's CDH was a 1 in 250,000 chance, so its next to impossible for Baby #2 to have it...but that one little seed of doubt is all Satan needs to run wild and wide open...and boy does he! This pregnancy has been a lot different that my first one. So of course that makes me think and wonder things too...BUT...here are my thoughts for today...actually my thoughts for tonight after getting a sweet card from Chris and Gage that said "Step by Step and Day by Day...remember that we are supporting you...and it's all in HIS hands. WOW...so true, huh?

Gage was and is in those same Hands who are knitting this baby together.

What a blessing to not only get pregnant once, but twice!

God's plans are not our plans, nor are His ways our ways.

He has all of the "what if's" taken care of.

If there is something "wrong" with this baby, we know JUST the hospital to go to!

Whatever may come, good or bad, God will get the glory!

There are people, so many people, praying for our family...even as I am typing!

Gage is going to be a big brother...and he only had a "50% chance of living"

The more Satan tries to attack or plant seeds, the more people God sends at just the right time to say just the right things, just when I need to hear it! Thank you!

Step by Step, Day by Day, its all in His hands. Thank you Chris Brown for being the most precious gift God has ever given to me. If Gage grows up to be half the man you are, his wife will be one blessed woman. You always know the right thing to say (or not say), and you always take such good care of me. I love you more each day, and I can't wait to meet and begin our journey with our second baby!

We have always been, and still remain, blessed beyond belief!